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In this chapter, Al the wonder cat helps Megan get through some tough times and the urge to cheat by eating massive amounts of chocolate chip cookie dough. I'm happy to report, Al the Wonder Cat is making his debut right here. This flame tip Manx/Siamese mix has been a great part of my life for the past eighteen years. He spends his days curled up in a very comfortable bed with an extra blanket and eats nothing but wet food (Fancy Feast). We figure, he's mostly eaten dry food most of his life, he deserves some canned. Between naps, meals, and bathroom breaks, Al will make an occasional appearance and pose for a picture. We'll keep you posted on Al and his many adventures!
Chapter 3
I hesitated to drink the smoothie since the smell of fresh cut grass filled my nose as soon as I put it to my lips.
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to drink that. I almost didn’t get it.” Sam shook her head. “But, I knew something must be up when you ate fish at brunch. You hate fish.”
I thought of Adonis. “I was distracted and I thought the protein from the fish would help me feel better.”
“It was breaded and covered in cream sauce.”
I shrugged. “Well, at least I tried.”
She pointed to the glass. “Drink it. It’ll help you feel better.”
I took a sip and cringed.
“You can’t sip it, just chug it down.”
Despite her best intentions, Sam could be a real pain in the ass. I pinched my nose and drank the entire contents of the cup. Twice I had to push myself because I knew if I quit, I would immediately throw up.
“Better?” Sam pulled out an all natural protein bar from her purse.
“I don’t know. Ask me in a few minutes after I puke.”
She nodded. Sam always seems so together, so in shape, so level headed. Her shoulder length raven hair had the most amazing natural shine to it and it matched her olive skin perfectly. When I looked in fashion magazines, I thought of her because she was exotic enough and certainly tall enough to be a model but she had chosen a less glamorous road.
She worked as a nurse anesthetist at the pediatric trauma center in Dallas. Before she ever set foot on a college campus, she’d placed out of enough hours to be considered a junior. In five years, she completed her bachelor’s and masters of nursing.
As accomplished as Sam had been in her career of becoming a successful nurse anesthetist, I had the same accomplishments when it came to learning languages. I’d learned Danish from my mother’s dad, Italian from my father’s parents, Spanish from my father’s grandmother, German from my father’s grandfather and the other two, French, and Russian, in school.
Learning languages had always been easy for me and had been my strength. Of course if you talked to my family, it was my only strength. My mother and grandmother considered “no big deal because you can’t make any money speaking a bunch of languages besides English”.
I could pick up a foreign dialect faster than anyone. Problem with that, I had yet to figure out how to make a decent living on being fluently multilingual. The only options I’d found so far were teaching and interpreting. Besides the tutoring I did at the community college, I wasn’t interested in teaching full time and I wasn’t brave enough to apply at the United Nations offices in New York City and I’d not researched it any further because I’m being lazy and a big chicken.
“So, what’s on your brain?” Sam kicked off her shoes.
I got a glass of water from the kitchen. “At this particular moment, trying to keep myself from throwing up.”
She looked around the apartment. “You’ve been cleaning.”
I sat down across from her. “Yeah, all day yesterday.”
“Where did you hide it all?” She looked toward the bedroom. “Mind if I look in your closet?”
“Go ahead.”
She smirked as she headed for my room. “Am I going to be attacked by piles of…oh my God! Where is all your stuff?”
“I’ve been downsizing.”
“You’ve been busy! What’s the occasion?”
I took several gulps of water. “I wanted to start the New Year off without a bunch of clutter.” I burped. “What was in that drink you gave me?”
“Soy milk, fruits, herbs, stuff like that.” Sam walked in the closet and looked around. “You threw all your photography magazines away?”
“No, I just put them in magazine file holders on the top shelf.” I shuddered. “My God, that’s a repulsive taste.”
“There they are. I was hoping you hadn’t thrown your goal of being a photographer for National Geographic out the window.” Sam exited the closet and gave an approving nod. “That smoothie is to help detox your body. It’s what you said you wanted.”
I walked into by bedroom. “Does it work?”
“I don’t know but I wouldn’t wander too far from the bathroom for the next day or so.” She sat on my bed and scratched my Al the Wonder Cat, behind the ears.
“Lovely.” I finished the water and sat down across from her. “What was the grass and dirt taste?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Not really.” I shrugged. “So you like the changes?”
“Yeah, it looks really great.” Sam laid across some of the pillows and gave me a mischievous grin. “So tell me about the guy at the restaurant.”
“I need more water.”
“No way!” She sat up and pointed. “No way. You have to tell me what happened. I’ve been dying to know.”
I took a deep breath and avoided eye contact with her. “When I was leaving the bathroom when he was standing outside it, finishing a phone call. We had a quick ‘hi’ and ‘how are you’ and that was it. Nothing huge.”
She studied me for a moment. “You are the worst liar ever Megan Sayla. You guys did a lot more than just say ‘hi’.”
“Okay, we had a nice conversation.”
“Really? What did you guys talk about?”
I hesitated. What did we talk about? “Oh, I told him he had nice pants.”
She sat up. “Nice pants? What was that? Nice pants?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else to say because he was talking on the phone and he saw me standing there, watching him talk on the phone and I had to come up with something.”
“Wait. You were watching him talk on the phone?”
I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. “Yeah, I was walking out of the bathroom and he had his back to me and…”
“He had his back to you and you were watching him talk on the phone?”
“Yeah, can we change the subject?”
She started giggling. “You were checking out his butt weren’t you?”
“No!”
“And he caught you.”
“No, it wasn’t like that!” I stood up and left the room to refill my water glass. “It was a nice conversation and that was it. You want some water?”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I don’t even know his name or who he is.”
When I returned to the room she was shaking her head. “You were gone a long time. You had to be talking about something interesting.”
“I just made him laugh because he hated the date he was on and he didn’t want to go back to his table.”
Sam rolled her eyes. “She was a twit.”
Al the Wonder Cat, had snuggled up next to Sam. The sound of his purr filled the room. “He’s such a good kitty. How old is he now?”
I sat on the bed and her a glass of water. “He’s fifteen.”
Silence. She looked at me, waiting for me to start speaking.
I sighed. “I guess you’re wondering why I asked you to bring me that detox shake?”
“The thought had passed through my mind, especially since it doesn’t have any Snickers in it.”
“Ouch, that was dirty.”
“Sorry, but you just like to eat a lot of crap.”
I could back out now, tell her I’d thought she just might want to hang out. I could simply lie and tell her nothing, but I couldn’t. To make this work I needed to tell her. I needed an ally and I knew I could count on her.
I look a deep breath. “I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching over the past year…”
“Just over the past year?”
I threw a pillow at her. “You’re such a snot.”
A concerned look came over her face. “You’re not going to tell me you’re a lesbian are you?”
“No, Sam, I’m not a lesbian.”
“A hooker?”
“No.”
“A lesbian, Nazi hooker?”
I laughed out loud. “Come on, I’m trying to be serious.”
“Okay, okay. I’m listening.”
As long as I’d planned for this moment, I was shocked to find it already here. Now, self doubt and sabotage were creeping in.
I knew I’d better start talking before I talked myself out of it. “I’m thinking of shaking things up a bit. Actually, I’m thinking of shaking things up a lot.”
“Really?” Sam sat up straight. “What are you thinking about doing? Getting a tattoo? Nose ring? Telling Gram it’s alright if people have sex before marriage?”
“I don’t plan to shake things up that much.” I took a deep breath. “Well, you know I’ve always struggled with my body image so I’ve been doing research on diet and exercise and what would work best for me.”
“Good. What have you decided?”
“That I need to get into shape.”
She smiled sweetly. “I know that Meg, but what are you going to do to get there?”
“Since it’s the first of the year, I’m planning to join a gym to healthier and lose some weight.”
“Cool! You can join my gym and we can work out together.”
I laughed. “Right. As if I could ever keep up with you.”
“You have to start somewhere.” She cocked her head. “So, was that all you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Not exactly.” I couldn’t sit. I had to move around. I started to pace slowly. “It’s not just one thing, I’ve been thinking about making all these changes for a long time and I’ve been planning for several months.”
She sat quietly and then motioned for me to continue.
“With the start of the New Year, I thought I’d actually make good on all these plans I’ve had for awhile.”
“Such as?”
“First, the weight. Second, the crappy choices in men I’ve dated over the years and I’ve made a list of things I’ve been doing wrong so I won’t keep making the same mistakes.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You made a list of things you’re doing wrong? Why is it your fault?”
“Because I keep picking guys that I know within a very short period of time they are bad for me and I still stay with them? Why?”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I’m asking you. Do the rate the mate list you have and tell me if any of the guys I’ve ever dated have a good rating.”
“Right, right.” Rate the mate list was a game Sam, her sister Olivia, and I would play over the years. It helped us decide whether a guy was worth the time and energy to date. “Okay, go.”
I started with my first boyfriend. We dated in high school. “Mark.”
“That’s not even a good start because you both were too young to figure it out.”
“Didn’t seem to be the case with you though.” I said it and from the hurt reaction on her face, I wish I hadn’t. “I’m so sorry, that wasn’t very fair. I’m just feeling rather on edge.”
She pursed her lips together for a moment. “Don’t worry about it. But he’d be categorized as Virgil Virgin or a Clueless Cody so, let’s move on.”
I took a deep breath. “Joey.”
“Smoozer Loser.”
“Lance.”
“Can’t keep it in his pants, Lance.”
“This is fun.” I took a drink of water. “Benny.”
“Was he the one who liked all those biker movies?”
I cringed. “No, that was Raider.”
“I can’t believe you dated a guy named Raider!” Sam smirked.
“It was only for a week. He actually gave me the ‘I’m a ramblin man, not a one woman man’ speech and in the middle of it, his pregnant girlfriend walks up and chews his ass and he heads home with his tail between his legs.” I laughed.
“He would be a two-timing Tom.”
“Matt.”
“Umbilical Bob.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“You know,” She moved her first two fingers together like scissors. “He hasn’t cut the cord from his mom, he’s still attached.”
I nodded. “Right.
I got ya.”
“It’s amazing his mother wasn’t still trying to breastfeed him.”
“She might have been for all I know.”
Sam motioned me to keep going as she walked into the kitchen. “You got any wine?”
“Yeah, in the pantry. Benny.”
She returned with the wine cap already unscrewed and two glasses. “Military Maggot but with a hot body.”
“Yes, he did have a hot body.” I sighed. “Not all military guys are maggots.”
“No, just him.” She took a swig of her wine and cringed. “I’ve got to teach you to get better wine.” She took another drink. “Is that it?”
“No.” I took a deep breath. To mention the last guy I dated before my present boyfriend would surely get a fierce reaction out of her. “Dale.”
“Parasite Pete.”
“That was pretty tame for you. I was sure you’d be more…”
“Fucking Parasite Pete.”
“There it is! And finally Carl.”
“Slugman.”
“Slugman.” I laughed. “What’s that?”
“It’s the kind of guy that just lays around and watches TV and wants you to wait on him hand and foot. Slugman.”
I took a drink of my wine. “Why do I keep dating such losers?”
“I’m not sure but none of them are good for you at all.”
“No, they aren’t. And I’m not good for Carl because I keep letting him be Slugman.”
We sat in silence for a moment as I processed my dating record. It was not the most stellar record known to women, but it wasn’t the worst either.
She smiled mischievously. “Are you going to find out who the guy is and ask him out?”
“What? Are you kidding me? No way. I could never ask a man out.”
“Oh, now he’s a man. I see.”
Al came over to Sam and gave her his obligatory attention before heading to the kitchen for a bite to eat. She scratched his chin and his loud purr was heard immediately.
“You are one of the few people he will go near besides me. He even avoids Lydia most of the time.”
“So would I,” she scoffed. “She’s so huge, he’s probably afraid he’s going to be eaten.”
“I know you don’t
like her but was that really necessary?”
“Sorry. Okay, you’ve covered your health and men. You’ve cleaned, sorted,
and disposed of the majority of your apartment. You’re planning to break up with
Slugman and find Mr. Dreamy.”
“Adonis.”
“What?”
I replied meekly. “I thought he looked like Adonis.”
She finished her wine. “Adonis. I like how that sounds. It sounds very, very…”
“Manly.”
“Manly.” A slow smile came over her face and I knew she was up to something. Then she did the one thing I didn’t expect. She dropped the subject. “What about your job?”
I sat down wondering why she didn’t ask more about Adonis because I knew my cousin well enough to know she was hiding something. “As you know, I absolutely love working as a unit secretary in the ER.”
“Who wouldn’t? It’s quite a glamorous job.”
“It sucks.”
Sam nodded. “Yes it does. I remember working as a unit secretary in high school and college and it did suck. How are you planning to get out of there?”
“I’ve had tossed back and forth the idea of following in your footsteps and going to nursing school.” I took a drink of water. “I barely made it through anatomy and physiology labs because of the smell of the dead animals so I don’t think I could make it through nursing clinicals. And you have to give people baths and clean up all sorts of crap, literally. No thanks, I just don’t have the stomach for it.
“No one is asking you to do what I do, are they?”
“You know how our moms compete over everything. You know Mom would be thrilled if I became Sam, part 2.”
She shook her head. “Look, if anything, I’m too organized, over accomplished, and too rigid. And I can’t say more than three words in a language besides English.”
Languages. The only thing I was better at than Sam.
“You’re amazing at languages. Look at all your awards.” She pointed to my bragging wall where I’d displayed all my accomplishments from junior high to now. “You’re got more awards in languages than I could ever hope to want.”
“I would think you’d be good at languages, especially since Livy is.”
Sam shook her head. “Despite us coming from the same uterus on the same day, that’s about all we have in common. I’m a planner, she flies by the seat of her pants. I’m good at sciences and she’s good at liberal arts and can speak languages just like you, without effort and in no time.”
I never knew that about my cousin Olivia.
“What is she up to these days?”
Sam shrugged. “I’m not sure. Still working in New York and DC doing her consulting job but we got off the subject here. You’ve talked about how you’re going to get started on your weight, health, dating, and now your job.” She sat on the floor and stretched, putting her forehead to her knees. “What are you going to do about that?”
“I want to go to massage therapy school and become a prenatal and neonatal massage therapist.” I blurted it out before I could catch myself.
There I said it, finally. It may not seem like a big thing, but my family wasn’t a touchy-feeling family. My mother and grandmother are convinced that massage therapists are people other go to when they want, need I say it, s-e-x.
As weirdly Purtainistic as they are about s-e-x, there are days I’m surprised I was even conceived.
I walked over to my desk and picked up a pile of papers, grabbed the bottom one and handed it to Sam. “I’ve been accepted to the winter term at Gentle Hands Massage therapy school.”
“Massage school, cool.” She looked at the acceptance form. “This starts in a week.”
“I can have my certification in four months if I go full time, six if I go part time.” I started pacing again. “So, I figure if I go part time, I’ll be done in six months and take my board exam and be out of working in the emergency room by September.”
Sam just sat and watched me talk without commenting.
“I hadn’t said anything to anyone because I was still trying to figure out how I was going to work and go to school. I didn’t want to ask anyone for help because, well, everyone has their own lives and I didn’t want to impose…”
“Right,” she nodded and looked at the form again. “It says here tuition is going to be twenty-four hundred dollars and that includes books, everything you need. Do you have that?”
“Well, I’ve been saving half my paycheck for several months now and tutoring at the community college for extra money. I quit buying just about anything that wasn’t necessary so I’ve got about six months of paychecks saved.” I wrung my hands. “So yes, I had that.”
“Had that?”
“I’ve already enrolled.” I cringed. “Paid the entire tution.”
She nodded. “You’ve already enrolled?”
“I was hoping to pick up some more overtime so I could take off or go part-time for four months so I could go to school full-time, but it didn’t work out as I’d planned.”
“So, why do you think this will shake things up?” She smirked.
“You know exactly why. It’s not your usual profession and you know how Mom and Gram are about touching someone you don’t know. Geez, they won’t even sit on a public toilet seat, anywhere.”
“I don’t think you can compare sitting on a public toilet seat with becoming a massage therapist.” She put her hand up. “But I know what you are saying, they are quite prudish. Massage therapists rank right down there with, what does Gram call them?”
“Sex peddlers.”
“That’s it. Sex peddlers.”
“It’s not just that.” I sat down next to her. “I just want to be productive, make a difference. I’m tired of being a peon, living in a dumpy apartment, not doing all those things I’ve always wanted to do, not meeting anyone but underage drunks.”
She hugged my shoulders as I continued.
“I’m tired of being the fat underachiever, the doormat, the ‘oh, Megan will do it because she’s never busy’ girl’. I want to go to a family function and be proud to say what my job is, like you do.”
“And you want them to be proud of you too.”
She was right. I wanted to be the accomplished, healthy, happy daughter my mother wanted.
She sighed. “You do know all of this is going to change everything, including you.”
“I hope so.”
She made me look at her. “No, I mean, it’s going to change everything. You’re going to accomplish all this and when you do, you’ll grow a new, very strong backbone. You’ll be able to draw boundaries and stick to them. You’re going to be able to say ‘no’ and ‘I can’t’ and ‘don’t volunteer me for things without asking’.”
“I don’t care.”
“Good because there are going to be family and friends who have always walked all over you that aren’t going to respond well to you saying ‘no’ to them.”
“I’d hoped they’d be happy for me.”
“Some will, some won’t.”
I finished my wine. “How do you know this?”
“It was on Dr. Phil last week. Look, you deserve not to be a doormat for the rest of your life. If this is what you want to do, I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“Thanks.” I smiled. “I really need an ally right now.”
Her eyes lit up. “And to make sure you do this, all of this, including the weight loss and finding a nice guy, excuse me, man, I’m going to help you.”
“I am not asking you for money Sam. That’s not why I asked you over.”
“I know that.” She shook her head. “You need to go to school full-time. I want you out of the ER as soon as possible.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re miserable, you don’t meet anyone of quality, and you are smarter than a unit secretary.”
“Most people who do that job are.”
“Most people are not you.” She rubbed her hands together as if she were going to cast a spell. “So, you’re going to quit your job, go to school full-time, start going to the gym, and join a dating service.” She pulled back from me and pointed her finger. “And all those photography magazines in there, you’re going to do something with that too.”
I shook my head and leaned back. “I can’t afford to do all of that, especially if I quit my job.”
She patted me on the back. “You can if you live with me.”
“What? Are you kidding?”
“Come on, it’ll be fun. Our own perpetual slumber party except we can have wine.” She raised her glass and finished it. “Good wine.”
The offer was too good. Sam lived in a kick ass condo that had a great view of downtown Dallas. “How much is your rent?”
“For you, nothing.”
“I can’t do
that.”
“Look, Meg, you need a bit of help and I’m here to give it to you.” She
walked into the kitchen, took her wine glass and refilled her water glass.
“Besides, you’re lonely here and if you have a support system you live with, me,
then you have to be accountable and you’re less likely to fall off the path to
your goals.”
She had a point. It would be easier to have her available to talk to all the time. “What about groceries?”
“Taken care of.”
“Utilities?”
“Done.” She took a drink and put the glass down. “Look, this isn’t just an altruistic gesture. I would love it if someone was home when I came home from a long days work and I want free massages.”
“Are you sure? You’ve lived alone for awhile, you won’t feel crowed?”
She paused. “Meg, you aren’t the only one who has concerns about her life.”
It took me a moment to realize Sam almost looked, sad. “Are you okay?”
She took a deep breath. “Just think about the offer and give me a call tomorrow.” She headed towards the door.
“How do you think everyone will react to me changing so much?”
“Changing how?”
“When people change things in their lives, when they give themselves things to be proud of they empower themselves and it affects everyone around them.”
“Wow, you have been watching Dr. Phil.”
“What I’m saying is things could get ugly.” She hugged me tightly. “I’ll be there the entire time. Now, don’t worry about a thing. You take care of the job, the body, and the packing and leave finding Adonis to me.”
I laughed. “You really think I can find a man like Adonis?”
Sam looked at me like she’d been challenged. “Oh, Honey. Believe me, Adonis is the easiest part of this whole project.”
(this is still awaiting final approval and is not final edit)
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This site was last updated 03/11/07